Hi there, friend! Here's how this works. Five steps. First we loosen up. Then you pick jokes you like. Then we put them in order. Then you practice. Then—boom—you record your show or take it to a real stage. Tap when you're ready.

Look—real comedians warm up before every show. Tongue. Face. Brain. Don't skip these. Tap each one, do the thing, tap DONE.

Here's the deal—you don't have to write jokes. Real beginners start by TELLING jokes. Pick the ones that crack YOU up. If it doesn't make you laugh, it won't make anyone else laugh either.

Open BIG. Close BIGGER. Anything you're not sure about goes in the middle—that's where the audience is settled in. Use the arrows to move 'em around.

Don't memorize. RHYTHM is what you want—the pause before the punchline. The teleprompter scrolls so you can practice. Hit Play. Read along. Three times through is the magic number.